My problems started long ago – prior to coming to the UK – trauma of war in Kosovo and everything that brings. I dealt with my trauma through my college years with counselling and using martial arts but then lost my mum in 2003. I’ve been carrying burdens a long time. I got married, had kids and became super busy.
Then I dislocated my knee doing martial arts. I had an operation that went wrong and ended up having 5 operations in total to try and correct the injury. The knee led to backaches and from this to disc problems. Everything piled up and up and up and I thought: “I can’t do anything about this”
I had such difficulty. I felt like a candle lighting everyone else but melting away myself. I was so stressed.
My brother in law said to me … you look so stressed all the time.. you just have to do something about it. He said your face looks like a camel’s back end.
The my sister went to a “Take Back Your Life” taster session at her child’s primary school. She suggested I go to a taster myself. I went along and just broke down…..I signed up for the course but still didn’t believe it would help.
But week after week I was seeing a difference. I started seeing things differently.
I still have some pain. I can feel it now but I literally made friends with that pain. How nice it would be if the pain left but it’s there and I can manage it now. I think it’s changed my life. I’m going to do this for the rest of my life. I know how to meditate and to use my breath and to think of myself for a change – to take rest and pace myself.
I think my children feel happier around me. Every time I complained about my neck before, my 8 year old daughter complained about her neck too. My negativity was rubbing over them.
My daughter hasn’t heard me complain about my neck for a while now. The tension and pain in my neck is gone. When I start to feel pain, I meditate.
I used to have acupuncture and the pain would go for a while but then I went right back to what I was doing and the pain came straight back. BUT with positivity, meditation, breathing, relaxation, and pacing, things have changed dramatically. Everything has improved. I used to take ibuprofen all the time. I’ve reduced ibuprofen.
Now I can manage the pain in my neck, I’ve decided to go back to college and get my GCSE’s so I can become a classroom assistant.